You used to be cool, Monopoly

I think this version of Monopoly could’ve single-handedly changed my entire childhood.  No more cheating? Someone always cheated in Monopoly.  My best friend had it down to a science.  You always knew he was cheating, but could never be sure exactly how.  He had lightening quick hands I suppose.

This version of Monopoly doesn’t use money in cash form and therefore has no designated banker.  No sliding $100 bills under the board to use later.  No swiping from the bank when the banker goes to the bathroom. You are given ATM-like cards which you slide in and out of a tower in the center of the board.  So when you pass go, you insert your card to receive your $200.  The tower uses infrared technology to keep track of money and make sure everyone follows the rules.  That’s right, infrared technology.   It has a speaker that announces the rules and makes sure you move the proper amount of spaces.  I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of afraid of the tower.  It’s starting to sound like the all-knowing eye of Sauron.  For those of you non-geeks, Sauron is the Dark Lord (of the Rings)who keeps an unceasing watch on the lands and kingdoms of Middle-earth. Basically, a badass.

So with free digital games everywhere, the board game market is not what it once was.  So the idea is to revive interest in kids.  I’m not a kid, so maybe that’s why I don’t like the sound of it. First of all, It’s called “Monopoly Live.”  Makes me think that Ryan Seacrest might be the voice in the tower. Also, there aren’t even dice to roll.  In order to move, you place your hand over your game piece and said scary tower tells you how many spaces you are allowed to move.  Hasbro execs are saying that kids today don’t want to bother with the rule books and that people don’t have attention spans like they used to or the time to dedicate to these types of activities.  I am fairly certain I had more attention span for Monopoly as a kid than I do now.  And if a computer is running the show, the need for skill is taken away.  Call me old-fashioned, but I thought that was kind of the point.  Not that I ever won.  Plus, I liked the idea that kids actually had to use their brains to count their money.  Now they don’t need to count or read.

I can’t seem to figure out whether there is a “Get out of Jail Free” card or not.  And if I don’t have that to argue over, then I definitely don’t want to play.