I have a love-hate relationship with awards shows. I have to watch them. All of them. I just can’t stop myself. I think I wear the same few outfits over and over again but still follow fashion in a feverish manner. Big Daddy won’t even stay in the room. He hates them first of all, but he also knows I’m going to hate my way through the whole thing. He’s smart, that man of mine.
I hate the babble on these shows. Ryan Seacrest might the the most annoying person on the planet. Minus Joan Rivers and her soon to be equally terrifying looking daughter. But there’s no sign of any Rivers women during the Grammys, so I’m off the hook tonight. Annoying as they may be, I sit my butt on this couch and watch the entire pre-show so I can get a better look at what everyone is wearing (or not wearing.) So, I’m writing this as I watch. Here’s Kelly Osborne. Why is she everywhere now? She loses twenty pounds and now she’s a fashion expert? Don’t get me wrong, I give her credit for turning herself around and I saw her on the cover of Shape Magazine looking super hot, but I’m still not ready to follow fashion cues from her. To be fair, I felt the same way when Nicole Richie went through her transformation. But where is Nicole now, anyway?
Dear God, Lady Gaga is bat shit crazy. In another life I probably would’ve hated her. But in this life, I effing love her. I can’t believe she just showed up in an egg “incubating.” Seriously, what? I love how she still manages to surprise me. Her new single is totally a blast from the past Madonna style, but she is kind of the Madonna of our generation, so it makes sense in a way.
Ugh. John Mayer. Johnny Depp wants his haircut back. I don’t even want to talk about you.
TIA CARRERE???? Where the eff did she come from and who is that little dude with her? He’s not worthy! He’s not worthy!
Kim Kardashian just called herself a bronze trophy. Sigh. I thought I would blog through this entire pre-show, but there’s too much hate. At least the Arcade Fire is performing tonight. But in the meantime, Mommy is going to get a pinot.
Did I mention that I love award shows?
Mommy Needs A Pinot 
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