Save me Frodo

So I follow Stephen Colbert on Twitter because he’s hilarious, obviously.  And yesterday he tweeted that he wished there was a meal between breakfast and brunch.  So what do I do?  I respond with what seemed like seemed a perfectly good answer.  Not even thinking that I have no business responding to Stephen Colbert in the first place.  I tell him that there is a meal between the two, called “second breakfast.”  Moments later I remember that this is actually what the hobbits call it and that it doesn’t actually exist, unless you live in Middle Earth.  Fucking Lord of the Rings.  I swear to God I used to be cool.

Social Media is taking over my social life.

Shortly before I activated this blog, I sent the link to a friend and the following happened.

E: oh balls its blocked!

Me: wtf

E: how am i supposed to keep up with your life if i can’t read your blog at work?

Me: i don’t know

E:  because reading it at home, talking to you online all day, seeing you in person, and talking to you on the phone don’t count.

This pretty much sums it up.

As a lifelong Social Butterfly, growing older is difficult.  I can’t drink three nights out of the week anymore (ok, four.) I can’t get to the mall every weekend and to a show every week.  And having a kid really puts the kibosh on what was rest of your social life.  For a little while anyway.  But certainly not in a bad way.  I no longer feel obligated to attend every single event, or even most of them and still find myself to be content.  And we’re having a blast on top of it.  Things are just different.  Luckily, I have spent the past few years working up to this by gradually building my social networking base.  Holding multiple emails, IM accounts, then Myspace, Facebook and Twitter.  And now I’ve got this.  So you guys get to know what I’m thinking ALL THE TIME.  Ok, not really.  I’m not that interesting.  But hopefully I’m interesting enough, or at least funny enough to get you to come back now and again.  Social media does have a tendency to make people seem pretty self-involved don’t you think?

I talk to three people on the phone everyday.  And use text messaging and the aforementioned digital means of communication to get anything else said or done.  I’m starting to fear its taking over my life.  I am constantly available.  I never turn my phone off.  Once my little one is in bed my computer is almost always in front of me.  If it isn’t, its more than likely because I’m reading this week’s US Weekly or playing a video game with Big Daddy.  I know I need to cool it.  Last year I went on vacation and refused to leave my blackberry at the house.  But what if I miss something?  What if Tiger Wood’s next mistress comes out and I am not immediately notified?  I would die!  Not only that, but I find now that I actually enjoy writing “status updates”  sometimes.  When they’re funny I actually congratulate myself and torture people by telling them about it even though they will read it on their own anyway.  Not only that, but I find myself ridiculing other people’s updates.  It’s become the new “omg, look, what is she wearing?”  Also, it’s so much easier to get thoughts and feelings out in writing.  It takes me ages to make my point clear when I’m talking to people sometimes.  It’s an inherited trait and completely terrible and I can’t do anything about it.  Thanks mom.  When I want to say something important (important to me anyway) my words jumble and ten minutes later when I’ve got two sentences out that make sense I’ve lost track of the point I was trying to get across.  It’s unfortunate and I could never do any public speaking if my life depended on it.

So here we are.  And now I’m taking it a step further and “talking” via my blog.  Please feel free to comment, heckle, question, write random notes, curse, whatever you want, to any of my posts.  Just don’t call me about them.