My American Idol Confusion

Why am I watching this show?  What the hell is Randy Jackson wearing?  If I lit a match near Ryan Seacrest’s hair would it catch fire?  So many questions.

It’s become clear to me now that I have a love/hate relationship with this show.  I watched the first season in 2002 with Kelly Clarkson.  Then she went on to film the movie “From Justin to Kelly” and I said I wasn’t watching the show again because that was just nonsense. But Season 2 came around and before the end I was sucked back in.  Then I said I wasn’t watching anymore and meant it.  I made it a few years. In 2007 my roommate and I would have it on in the background occasionally, but I didn’t pay much attention to it.  But then Season 8 came on and I was back again, thanks to Adam Lambert.  Because God knows I can’t resist an androgynous rockstar.  For example:

 

Exceptions:

And this guy who also happens to be a child molester.

 

Anyhoo. Adam Lambert was awesome.  So I was clearly a fan of the show again.  Even if I wished I wasn’t.  And to be fair, I’ve only heard one of Adam’s post Idol songs and it sucks. Bummer.  Let’s move onto the present because I don’t really care that much about last year.  Now we’ve got (1) loony tunes Steven Tyler, who actually kind of cracks me up.  I couldn’t figure out why the hell someone like him would do Idol at first. But he can’t tour anymore due to that head injury last year (sleeping pills when you’re not sleeping – brilliant) and he clearly loves the spotlight, so it actually makes sense in a way.  Plus, plastic surgery is expensive.  Someone’s got to pay his doctor’s bills.  (2) JLo, who almost (I said almost) makes me like her because she’s so effing nice and (3) old standby what’s up dogg Randy Jackson.  But overall there’s really nothing new here and I’ve had a really hard time figuring out why I just can’t turn it off.  Everyone says Reality shows are like car crashes.  They can’t turn away.  But I don’t think that’s it here.
Is it that I can listen to cheesy songs that I secretly love but wouldn’t otherwise listen to in public?  Maybe.  Is it because I like hating on people?  Probably. I don’t really have an answer. But the odds of me being able to turn it off this season are pretty slim.

 

Steven Tyler has gone bananas.

Someone get me an appointment with Steven Tyler’s plastic surgeon.  Not because I want any work done or anything.  But because I want to smack him.  Steven has always had that signature mug with that huge mouth.  I bet he could eat his mic if he wanted to.  But is it me, or is something slightly off these days?  Take a look:

Look familiar?

That’s because he looks like he’s just walked off the set of Planet of the Apes.

I mean, I imagine Steven’s face may show age more than others.  Dude’s had some hard living.  But when you’re starting to resemble your primate counterpart its time to take a time out.