Tag Archives: Twitter

10 Reasons Your Kid Might Be Ridiculous

3 Feb

Your mother is 31 years and old does the following:

10.  Makes you listen to the Phantom of the Opera at the ripe age of 1.  Now you know all the words and love it too.  I’m sure the other kids will relate.  Kids LOVE Phantom of the Opera.

9.  Convinces you to love healthy food.  Such as garbanzo beans which you eat almost daily.  Ok, that’s not ridiculous.  Teaching you to yell “BAAAAAANNANZZZZOOOOS!!!”  before she will give them to you might be.

8.  Made up a variety of bedtime stories and almost all of them involve dragons.  And then she makes your father come in and flap his wings during the dragon parts of the story.

7. Prank calls people:

6.  Posts inappropriate and/or hilarious pictures on her co-worker’s desks.

5.  Spent an entire night “speaking” in song to your father so he would be annoyed enough to leave her alone and let her watch a movie in peace. Said movie was ‘Twilight.’

4. Created a fake twitter based on someone she knows who says amazing things on a regular basis.  By amazing, I mean unintentionally hilarious.  I won’t tell you who it is, but: @steveisbobo

3.  Recently requested tickets to the Maury Show.  And will totally go if she gets them.

2.  Did not create, but may or may not have a small hand in this:  SMELLHAIR.COM

1.  Is working diligently on a side project entitled  “Where Are They Now?: Korn Fans.”

The good news here is that Ava has a pretty good chance of being funny.  But no one tell her about the prank calls please.

If this were a Top 11 List I suppose I could add:

Your mother is so used to talking about dragons that she said” makes your father come in and flap his wings during the dragon parts of the story”  and didn’t think to change it to arms until after editing.

*If you were a Korn fan at one point, or knew someone that was, please let me know and I will pass along the questionnaire.  I was dead serious about that.



Sh*t Girls Say

13 Dec

Thank God I just found this. Because I have been struggling to get through the US Postal Service answering service for 15 minutes and I need a distraction.  Is it any wonder they are soon to be non-existent?  Seriously, 15 minutes.  I have turned into that crazy woman in the office yelling at no one.  Today is my husband’s birthday and his present is MIA.  Not a happy camper over here.  By the time someone picks up the phone I am going to be so furious.

Anyway, this video is hilarious.  Only time will tell if the show will actually turn out to be this funny.  Either way, this is pretty accurate.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “are you near a computer?”  Just ask my sister.  Pretty sure she doesn’t find me irritating at all.  But I’m hopeful about the show because Juliette Lewis makes an appearance (hopefully to stay.) Of course, that would mean her band “Juliette and The Licks” won’t be back in town any time soon, but I’ll live.  This started as a parody twitter account and became so popular that they turned it into a web series.  Kudos to the writers for being smart enough to go this route and not risk ruining the hilarity like they did with “Sh*t my dad says.”  My apologies Camille Grammer.

This is probably going to be my new favorite thing.

Oh, good, I am officially on hold now.  That’s progress, right?

20 minutes and counting…..


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