Get a room, or a new gym.

Every so often I forget my headphones when I hit the gym and I head to the media room.  God knows I am not going to exercise without some sort of entertainment.  This happened a few nights ago and for the second time there was a couple on a mat almost right next to me while I was on the elliptical.  This couple doesn’t actually come to work out apparently.  They just lay next to each other giggling and rolling around and hugging.  If they were teenagers, I might understand.  But these are two grown adults.  One of them has to have a home to go to.  The guy did a total of 25-30 crunches, but not in consecutive order.  Every so often he’d just be like “come on, let’s work-out,” and then he’d do a few and then lay back again.  I guess it’s silly to be so annoyed about this, but just getting to the gym can be an internal struggle in the winter.  I just want to go home and lay on the couch and eat pizza.  I don’t want to watch people cuddle when I work out.  So please people, go home.

Unless of course I have just discovered a torrid love affair in the making.  Perhaps this requires some research.  Do people go to the gym to hide from their spouses?

Guns N’ Roses – a timeline of my life

Looks like its Christmas time again.  And Christmas time is a time to reminisce.  And reminiscing to me always involves Guns N’ Roses in some form or another.  I’m 30 years old, I have a toddler and I have framed GnR albums on my bedroom wall.  So what?

Let’s start from the beginning.

1991 – I am 11 years old when Terminator II comes out.  I’m not allowed to see the movie yet, but You Could Be Mine is everywhere.  Someone even brought the cassette single to music class.  I think I mentioned earlier on that I was born a music snob.  I didn’t want to listen to what everyone else did.  But just like I did with NKOTB shortly before, I pretended to hate Guns N’ Roses, but secretly loved the shit out of them.  So I had to pretend to suffer through them when my friend’s older siblings played them around us.

1992- I’m the in 7th grade and I’m watching non-stop MTV.  And I was much too busy pretending to hate on Nirvana to continue the GnR hate.  I purchased both Use Your Illusion II and Appetite for Destruction with my mom and said nothing to my friends. (Ok, my mom really purchased them for me, but whatever.) I wore them both out on my walkman.  I could go on and on about GnR throughout the early 90s, but let’s just say my love continued to blossom and move on.

1999 – I’m 19 and taking my first road trip alone to visit my grandmother.  Cool, right?  So I’m zooming through the back country roads and I hear sirens.  The police officer goes through the motions…do you know how fast you were going, etc. When I told him I didn’t he naturally asked me why.  I told him I was listening to GnR and singing so loudly that I just lost track of how fast I was going.  This apparently is not a reasonable excuse.  Although he did laugh.  And that was the first speeding ticket I ever got.  I was brilliant at 19.

2001- I think its a good idea to purchase a cowboy hat and kept it in the black hole which was the trunk of my car.  I wish I could go back in time and dig through it.  I’m sure I’d find comedic gold. I bring the hat out at every opportunity which involves dancing on something and singing to Patience.  This opportunity came about more often than one would think.  This being said, I still frowned upon any other girl in a cowboy hat.  I was nice like that.

2002- I cry over November rain in a drunken state in front of people and insist to everyone I see that I will wear Stephanie Seymour’s wedding dress one day.

2003 – My boyfriend at the time makes me a mix cd of his favorite GnR songs and it includes Cat in the Cradle sung by Ugly Kid Joe.  I’m secretly pissed by the mistake and we break up shortly thereafter.  Not necessarily because of that, but it was certainly a factor.

2008 – I spend my first Valentine’s Day with the love of my life.  He bought me windshield wipers and Slash’s autobiography.  Everyone laughs at this, but I immediately think, “wow, this guy REALLY gets me.” In retrospect, that was probably the moment that sealed the deal for me.  And here we are present day with a beautiful 14 month old and framed albums still on our bedroom wall.  Thank you Axl,  Slash, Steven, Izzy and Duff.  And I suppose the drugs, women and booze that fueled your success.

 

For the record, this is the abridged version of my GnR filled life.