Bathroom Offenses

I have a bathroom problem.  But no, it isn’t what you think. I think I may be overly observant, but I am constantly offended by the public bathroom down the hall from my office.  It all started with the “4′ o’clocker.” I could go into details here, but I won’t.  It’s too much. Let’s just say I avoided the bathroom at 4:00 everyday for a few months. But that person no longer works in the building so it’s safe again. Last month they installed this littler spritzer in the corner that shoots off this strong, floral scent that overwhelms the entire bathroom.  It’s on a timer and I haven’t quite figured out how to avoid it yet. But I hate it. It makes my nose wrinkle up.  There are a series of offenses I could list, but alas, Festivus has come and gone, so I will save the airing of the grievances for next year.  This is also a last-ditch effort  to keep from sounding completely OCD.

Except for this. Yesterday I was washing my hands at the sink and a woman comes out of the stall and does a quick swoosh under the water.  No soap, so scrubbing, just a quick swoop under the water. Then she pulls out like 40 paper towels!  First of all, that’s wasteful.  Secondly, what do you need paper towels for?  You were under the water for maybe five seconds. So then I started thinking, ok, maybe she isn’t a hand washer?  Let’s go ahead and just put that aside for a minute and pretend that it isn’t disgusting. And that everyone else on that floor doesn’t have to touch the same door knob that she is leaving her germs all over.

Let me ask you this – If you weren’t a hand washer, but were next to someone washing their hands at the sink, wouldn’t you wash anyway for appearances sake?

And then I thought, Dear God, that was her version of keeping up appearances.  So once again I was offended by something in that bathroom. Next time I think I should ask for a raise I’m going to raise the topic of a private bathroom instead.

I really don’t want to tell you guys how much time I sat thinking about this yesterday.  Let’s just say it was a lot.

Mystery Package

As I mentioned previously (Swap It To Me,)  I’ve started using swap.com.  I did not anticipate getting so into it.  Although I never really do. And now I’ve got one more online distraction to add to ever-growing list. I’ve already made four swaps and I’m pretty pleased with the results. But today something strange happened. I got two packages and I was only expecting one.  I have no idea who this person is that sent me the other package, but it contained an old beat up copy of “The Dreamer’s Dictionary.”  ‘From A to Z, 3000 Magical Mirrors to Reveal the Meaning of Your Dreams.’  I definitely did not swap anyone for this. It’s just not something I’d ever pick up to read. No offense to anyone that might, I don’t have anything against it. It’s just not something that would pique my interest. And it was printed in 1975. Unless I’m in a used book store, I am not going to go out of my way for anything this old.

So me being me, I daydreamed this entire wacky scenario in which I have been sent this book with some sort of evil spirit in it that will now be haunting my dreams. My imagination has never quite aged with the rest of me. It still tends to run quite wild at times. But seriously, why in the world did this guy send me this book? I don’t even know where Evans Mills, NY is. Pretty sure this means Freddy Kruegar is after me. So if you guys don’t hear from me, call a detective, would you?

This was all meant to be sort of funny, but I’m pretty sure I’ve just come off as a crazy person. Eh. I’m okay with that.

Welcome To Earf

Welcome back to reality Whit.  While it would have been hilarious, you are not going to see the Maury Povich show.  You could not stay away from that last George R.R. Martin book for more than a week, no matter what you said.  You were also not able to go to a concert on a Wednesday night this week, even though they are one of your favs: http://wp.me/pROJ9-eE

You must accept it.  Your body and mind only allow so much.  Instead you are staying at home with your nose in that book about dragons and fighting with Home Depot who are finally after a freaking month coming to drop off the wood to finish your floors this weekend.  You will not, however, be watching tv because your first grown-up 55 inch flat screen blew out after five months.  Really Samsung?  So I will be calling the Samsung tech for the 50th time because they have still not made an appearance.  No Xbox, no Yo Gabba Gabba, no Real Housewives, no fun for anyone.  This was our first major appliance in our home and I don’t think we can ever go back to a smaller tv.  We’re spoiled now.  My husband certainly won’t be able to blow up zombies, or whatever else he’s blowing up in those games of his on a regular tv now.

Speaking of my husband, he asked me this morning if the Spice Girls were ever coming to DC. So today is a weird day.  Maybe I’m not on Planet Earf after all.

Do we stay or do we go?

I see you  2012.  And the annual “do we go out or do we stay in?” dilemma is upon us. Before we headed home from Christmas dinner the in-laws offered to keep Ava so we could go out on New Year’s Eve.  I just laughed.  Because sadly, we have nothing to do!  Do we spend a bunch of money and get all dolled up for an all-you-can-drink event?  Negative.  Do we sit at the neighborhood bar and drink ourselves silly?  Negative.  Do we have a party and deal with the mess?  I don’t think so.  Do we go to a movie and call it a night?  Maybe.  But we do have some people we’d like to spend time with.  But what to do?

To be honest, I have never been a big fan of New Year’s events.  It’s always anti-climatic.  You make these grand plans, go out and buy a new outfit, put on too much make-up and expect something magical to happen.  But it generally ends up being just like any other night, or its a night stuffed in tight quarters with a bunch of drunken fools spilling stuff on your new shoes.  Aka. Amateur night.

I don't want to hang out with any of you.

I guess I have three days to figure this out. What are you guys doing for New Years?

Why does this job exist?

I just told my friend that I quit my job to do this and he believed me. That can’t be good.  Now someone explain to me why this job exists.  Must “sign dolls in and out of the salon.”  What?  They are just dolls people.  Is it weird that I am kind of creeped out by this?  Also, they should hire me to edit their ads before they go out. Because I know how to spell “dining.”

| My Career Center | View Job Cart | Back to Job Search |

Doll Hair Stylist Req Number: 110455
Location(s): Washington DC         Responsibilities:
Be one of our stars at American Girl

American Girl is a new retail and dinining experience that provides greater opportunities for American Girl fans to experience the brand in a fun and casual enviroment, located at the Tysons Center Mall, in Mclean Virginia.

Girls can shop the boutique for their favorite American Girl books, dolls, accessories and experience our signature Doll Hair Salon.

We currently have a part time opening for a Doll Hair Salon Stylist.

Purpose of Position:
*To provide doll hair salon styling services to customers
*Answer questions, provide excellent customer service
*Sign dolls in and out of the salon
*Style doll hair according to company standards, demonstrating proper hair care techniques
*Conduct inventory of salon supplies and stocking area for ease of work, and communicate needs to management Requirements:
Experience/Skills:
*A special affinity for working with customers and a minimum of 6 months work experience in customer relations (sales or service) is preferred
*Ability to style hair (braiding and pony tails specifically)
*Must enjoy public speaking, children and possess a warm and friendly demeanor

Must be available to work weekends. We offer a competitive salary and 401(k) plans and a 30% discount on merchandise.

Please apply via our website http://www.mattel.com/careers/ or in person at our American Girl store, between the hours of 10:30am – 4:30pm, Monday thru Friday, at Tysons Corner Center, 8090L Tysons Corner Center, McLan VA 22102.

American Girl is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Mattel is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Employer

 

Today

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Is insane. In fact this whole week has been crazy busy. So for now I just leave you with this gem that I found on the good old interweb. I love you Christopher Walken.

Waken in a Winter Wonderland.

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Life In Perspective, or Something Like That

A lot changes when you have a child.  Ok, everything changes.  But things have continued to change for me over the past two years.  And some things that I didn’t expect.  One, I turned out to be a pretty decent mother (so far anyway.)  It’s helpful that Ava is pretty agreeable I guess.  But I think its more because I actually enjoy being a mom.  And also because I know my limits.  When I went back to work and had to leave Ava with a nanny I was anxious, terrified and miserable.  But Ava is thriving there and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be counting in french by now if she were home with me all day.  My nanny is actually amazing and she and her family all love Ava.  And she (we) love them. Plus, I’ve come to realize that I need my grown-up time during the day.  I have a lot respect for stay at home moms because I don’t think I could do it.

Speaking of work.  I’ve gotten to a point where I actually kind of like it. Not love it, but like it.  There are obviously “oh, my God I don’t want to go days,” but that goes for everyone. Not only that, but I feel like my job is going places.  And that really only came when I started to enjoy it.  I think it shows.

I’ve had to make some serious decisions over the people in my life in the past two years.  There was a point in my life when my friends came first, before boyfriends, family, anything. I still love all of my friends dearly, but these things obviously change. I’ve had to take a step back from certain friendships. I seriously no longer have the mental capacity to deal with everyone’s drama.  I wish I did, but I just can’t do it. I am naturally prone to becoming anxious and I realized that I was letting other people’s problems affect me. Not only that, but even now, when I have absolutely no drama in my own life, I’ve found that some people have still been saying things about me behind my back. I feel like a 16 year-old just saying the words “talking about me behind my back.”  I don’t often go out and see people and there are some that still actually try to create drama for me by saying completely ridiculous things about me.  The weirdest part about it is that I’m not even upset.  If that’s the way you want to behave, fine. It’s your life. Although I would obviously prefer to be left out of it.  The most recent example of this resulted in me calling  one or two of my closest friends and then I actually laughed.  It doesn’t even matter.

I am surrounded by people – friends, co-workers, family – that are going through incredibly difficult things in their lives right now.  Break-ups, job nightmares, illnesses and other equally icky things.  And while I remain true to my hater-self, I honestly have nothing to complain about.  My life is far from perfect.  Sometimes I don’t have the money to buy everything I want, sometimes I don’t have time to get everything done and sometimes I skip the gym and eat a billion cookies and then beat myself up for an entire night.  I’ve had so many ridiculous goings-on in my past, that normal is pretty amazing to me.  I am happy with my life. I have real love and experience real joy. I feel like things are falling into place for the first time in my entire life.

It’s Saturday night and I’m sure some of my friends are out having fun and I’m sitting on my couch catching up on my shows from the week. And I am completely content.  In fact, this hater is downright cheery.

 

 

Really?

To the guy who stopped on the busy street corner to blow a snot rocket – really?

To the woman wearing jeans and a bikini top at the gym – really?

To the guy in training this morning that followed up his wearing the really short pants with large, neon blue and black striped socks with moons on them by asking ONE MILLION freaking questions and keeping us all late- REALLY?

To Tyler Perry who just cast Kim Kardashian in his upcoming “The Marriage Counselor” movie -WTF?

Thank God its Friday, because folks has gone crazy, ya’ll.

 

 

Can someone please explain this to me?

Good Lord.

It is 420 afterall