Archive | July, 2010

And then my life flashed before my eyes!

28 Jul

Ok, not really.  But my experience last night was still intense!

So last night we had an event at work and I hung around to make sure everything was in order, have a beer, schoomze, etc.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  At ten til 7 I get onto the elevator with a girl from another office and a moment later the elevator stops working.  “No big deal” I say.  “It will only be a minute.”  We obviously hit the door open button 1000 times and the number for every floor in the building.  Nothing.  So we start hitting the emergency bell.  Still nothing.  My phone amazingly works in the elevator thanks to my recent switch to Verizon and I call my office and co-worker but get no answer from either.  I give my phone to the girl stuck with me.  She gets her co-worker on the phone who does answer luckily and he got down to business calling people.  Meanwhile I text another co-worker out-of-town and he flat-out doesn’t believe me.   I literally had to take a picture of the girl stuck with me and text it to him before he changed his mind.  Perhaps the office pranks should be curtailed for a while.

So after 15 minutes this girl in the elevator and I are obviously very good friends.  We finally get over the fact that we’re really stuck and plop down on the dirty floor, only to realize that the elevator is shaking a little and not really on the ground level although the light says L.  So now we’re getting nervous and think its best to plan our escape.  “Good thing I have my gym bag” I say, “I’m going to need my tennis shoes to scale that wall.”  But just as we planned for her to boost me through the roof of the elevator to shimmy myself up the cables to the floor above us, we realize there is a second phone in the elevator.  Please note that she was just as involved in the planning and did not once accuse me of being a crazy person.  Maybe we’re soul mates.  Anyway, don’t ask me how we missed the other phone initially.  Unlike the other “emergency” phone, this one worked.  But it only went to one place, which was not located in our area and they put me on hold three times only to be told that the elevator people are an hour away. 40 minutes in we hear someone shouting to tell us there is nothing they can do, so  they are calling the fire department.  Thanks for the update genius.  We’ve only been trapped in a tiny non-air conditioned elevator for 40 minutes.  Please take your time.  Not to mention that we had no idea that you were there in the first place, whoever you are.  I would have called the fire department myself, but after calling home and then leaving a very important facebook update letting my friend know she is the recipient of all of my music if I died, my phone died as well.

So soon after that we hear yelling, banging and cursing.  This is great because it means the fire department is here.  It is bad because there are having a hell of a time getting us out.  Twenty minutes (and make-up touch ups and hair flattening) later, the door is pried open and there are seven glorious firemen looking down upon us.  It could be considered heaven to some.  “Are you ok in there?”  I think my new friend actually giggled.  We were not on the ground floor as we expected and were in-between the third and floors (I don’t think we could have plummeted to our deaths from the third floor) so we threw our bags, purses and heels up to them and a fireman jumped in after us.  He got down on all fours and told us to “climb on ladies” leading to more giggling.  So one at a time we stood on that poor man’s back and were pulled onto the fourth floor by two more firemen.

This is clearly the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in a while.  I have no doubt that my years of training as an escape artist (I excel in escaping parents, school and work) would have enabled me to escape on my own, but I much prefer the ending I was given. Thank you, brave firemen.  I love you so.


Jeremy London Update

14 Jul

Jeremy London and his wife have both signed on for celebrity rehab.  This almost makes me want to watch just to hear the stories that come out of his mouth.  Almost.

Helpful hints

12 Jul

As my good deed for the day, I’m including some helpful hints.  Please first watch the tutorial on how to be good-looking when you really aren’t.  Next, check out the link to Catalog Living to give you some swell ideas courtesy of Gary and Elaine.

A Serious Moment

9 Jul

Yesterday I heard from an old friend and had a little catch up session.  So today I’m feeling reminiscent.  Someone once said to me, “You are the girl Tom Petty wrote songs about.”  It was the single greatest compliment I have ever received.  In the grand scheme of things, this person was only in my life for a brief period of time, but he had a huge impact on me.  I don’t know how to describe being around him without being completely cheesy, so I’ll just do it.  Being with him felt like being in a movie.  I could almost feel the soundtrack playing along with us.  He was a complete disaster, a true vision of the starving artist.  But he listened.  Like REALLY listened. He was that person that really “got me.”  I think he knew my life story in about five minutes.  When he asked, you answered.  You didn’t even hesitate.  His responses were only a sentence, maybe two.  And it was enough.  And then poof, he was gone, and life went on.  I’m not even sure how it happened.  That time just seemed to stop.  He was always the person that wouldn’t be there at the end of the movie.  He wasn’t meant to be my Lloyd Dobbler.  It took me a few more years to find that.  But sometimes when I’m down I think back to that Tom Petty day, to that moment and I’m thankful that this person came into my life, a fleeting moment though it was.

Do you have a “moment?”  Tell me about it.  I love this crap.

Woah! A Rainbow!

7 Jul

I don’t really need to say much about this.  Just listen.  WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

Night Night Linds

7 Jul

I knew that skank was going to the clink!  I’ve been waiting for it for months.  Look at that stupid ‘fuck you’ she has written on her fingernail. This girl is really something else.  The sentence was even more harsh than the prosecutors asked for.  Ninety days in jail followed by ninety days in rehab.  I think 180 days in rehab would probably do her more good, but she totally had this coming.  Who knows how much time she’ll actually serve.  And I am now retracting my statement about her in my last blog calling on her as a new bff for Jeremy London.  Sorry Jeremy, Lindsay is busy.
Perhaps Paris Hilton will give her a buzz to offer some advice.

London calling, er, falling

6 Jul

In light of the recent Jeremy London “kidnapping” and a reference to his brother found in my friend’s blog ( I started doing some serious thinking about these two. I’ve always had a hard time telling them apart and who has done what. I just knew that one was slightly cuter than the other.  (That is unfortunately no longer the case.) I was never able to answer who was in Party of Five and who was in Dazed and Confused.  Probably because I never got into Party of Five.  So I’m going to get it straight once and for all and keep it posted so I can refer back to it easily.  Well, at least the well-known stuff.  I have no desire to make an IMDB sized list.


The Man in the Moon

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

Dazed and Confused

*Wow- it looks as though I’ve missed some classics here….Wasabi Tuna, A Midsummer Night’s Rave, Alien Cargo…sound like classics.  I’m netflixing immediately


Mall Rats  -still a personal fav

Party of Five

7th Heaven

Ok, so neither of them have had stellar careers exactly,  but they are still somewhat memorable when you think of the 90s.

But wtf Jeremy?  Have you seen yourself lately?  I could ride that bloat on your face up a river if I wanted to.  That stupid kidnapping story is so absurd that I can’t decide whether its funny or angering.  I guess I did sort of laugh. If Rick James was still with us I think he would probably have been in that car.  And now Jeremy is suing his mother and brother to keep them from talking to the media about him, because they have given unauthorized interviews that included “false statements” about him that have damaged his reputation and career.  Yes, that must be it.  I was wondering where it all went wrong.

Look at Jason, Jeremy!  So his career isn’t exactly A list either, but at least he isn’t a cracked out fat face.



Someone get Blohan on the horn, we’ve got a new bff for her.  I’d be surprised if they haven’t hooked up already.

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