Bathroom Offenses

9 Mar

I have a bathroom problem.  But no, it isn’t what you think. I think I may be overly observant, but I am constantly offended by the public bathroom down the hall from my office.  It all started with the “4′ o’clocker.” I could go into details here, but I won’t.  It’s too much. Let’s just say I avoided the bathroom at 4:00 everyday for a few months. But that person no longer works in the building so it’s safe again. Last month they installed this littler spritzer in the corner that shoots off this strong, floral scent that overwhelms the entire bathroom.  It’s on a timer and I haven’t quite figured out how to avoid it yet. But I hate it. It makes my nose wrinkle up.  There are a series of offenses I could list, but alas, Festivus has come and gone, so I will save the airing of the grievances for next year.  This is also a last-ditch effort  to keep from sounding completely OCD.

Except for this. Yesterday I was washing my hands at the sink and a woman comes out of the stall and does a quick swoosh under the water.  No soap, so scrubbing, just a quick swoop under the water. Then she pulls out like 40 paper towels!  First of all, that’s wasteful.  Secondly, what do you need paper towels for?  You were under the water for maybe five seconds. So then I started thinking, ok, maybe she isn’t a hand washer?  Let’s go ahead and just put that aside for a minute and pretend that it isn’t disgusting. And that everyone else on that floor doesn’t have to touch the same door knob that she is leaving her germs all over.

Let me ask you this – If you weren’t a hand washer, but were next to someone washing their hands at the sink, wouldn’t you wash anyway for appearances sake?

And then I thought, Dear God, that was her version of keeping up appearances.  So once again I was offended by something in that bathroom. Next time I think I should ask for a raise I’m going to raise the topic of a private bathroom instead.

I really don’t want to tell you guys how much time I sat thinking about this yesterday.  Let’s just say it was a lot.


One Response to “Bathroom Offenses”

  1. The Weekly Argus March 9, 2012 at 8:55 pm #

    In Mr. 4 o’clock’s defense, some people’s bowels operate with more precise timing than a Rolex. Trust me.

    It’s the ones that don’t wash their hands that gross me out.

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