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10 Reasons Your Kid Might Be Ridiculous

3 Feb

Your mother is 31 years and old does the following:

10.  Makes you listen to the Phantom of the Opera at the ripe age of 1.  Now you know all the words and love it too.  I’m sure the other kids will relate.  Kids LOVE Phantom of the Opera.

9.  Convinces you to love healthy food.  Such as garbanzo beans which you eat almost daily.  Ok, that’s not ridiculous.  Teaching you to yell “BAAAAAANNANZZZZOOOOS!!!”  before she will give them to you might be.

8.  Made up a variety of bedtime stories and almost all of them involve dragons.  And then she makes your father come in and flap his wings during the dragon parts of the story.

7. Prank calls people: http://wp.me/pROJ9-1T

6.  Posts inappropriate and/or hilarious pictures on her co-worker’s desks.    http://wp.me/pROJ9-pd


5.  Spent an entire night “speaking” in song to your father so he would be annoyed enough to leave her alone and let her watch a movie in peace. Said movie was ‘Twilight.’

4. Created a fake twitter based on someone she knows who says amazing things on a regular basis.  By amazing, I mean unintentionally hilarious.  I won’t tell you who it is, but: @steveisbobo

3.  Recently requested tickets to the Maury Show.  And will totally go if she gets them.

http://www.mauryshow.com/get_tickets.php

2.  Did not create, but may or may not have a small hand in this:  SMELLHAIR.COM

1.  Is working diligently on a side project entitled  “Where Are They Now?: Korn Fans.”

The good news here is that Ava has a pretty good chance of being funny.  But no one tell her about the prank calls please.

If this were a Top 11 List I suppose I could add:

Your mother is so used to talking about dragons that she said” makes your father come in and flap his wings during the dragon parts of the story”  and didn’t think to change it to arms until after editing.

*If you were a Korn fan at one point, or knew someone that was, please let me know and I will pass along the questionnaire.  I was dead serious about that.

 

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3 Responses to “10 Reasons Your Kid Might Be Ridiculous”

  1. mommysaidaswearword February 3, 2012 at 9:39 pm #

    I love this for so many reasons. One of them being that my husband’s name is Steve, and his brother goes by Uncle BoBo. (long story). SO @steveisbobo makes me happy. So does Korn.

  2. Stacy Dymalski February 4, 2012 at 5:00 pm #

    If reincarnation is true (and I hope it is because my to-do list spans a couple of centuries and includes things not yet invented) I want someone like you as my next mom. And kudos to your hubby flapping his dragon wings upon request. Your daughter’s a lucky little girl. 🙂

    • Mommy Needs A Pinot February 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm #

      I know, I have nightmares that my to do list will end up in my will and passed down to future generations. But thank you for the sweet words!

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