Other F Word

5 Dec

Punk Rock grows up.  Indeed it does.  I came across the review for this documentary and I was instantly sad and I haven’t even watched it yet. Seems reasonable, right?  There’s no real explanation for it, other than the fact that I was really effected by these kids growing up and while I often feel tired and have never felt more like a “grown-up” in my life, here’s one more piece of evidence that I am no longer young.  Not old, but not young, either.

I was never punk rock, and didn’t pretend to be, but I loved the music and especially the boys.  I was never comfortable in my own skin as a teenager (is anyone?) and while I hung out with some of these guys, I was too afraid to admit how much I loved it because I didn’t look like them and was afraid to be ridiculed.  Not only that, but I was under the impression that some of these guys really believed in the lifestyle (and some of them really did) and I didn’t.  On most levels, I “got it.” But I had a great childhood, my parents were good people who did the best that they could and I was just rebelling in the standard teenage way.   It was a great outlet for anger but it was really more of a teen angst thing for me.  If someone asked me if I was anti-establishment or something of the sort I probably wouldn’t have even known what they were saying.  I just wanted to listen to the music, drink beers and break stuff.  Or watch other people break stuff.  And had I let on how much I really loved it to my peers, someone would have called me a poser and that is like a curse word in that world.  And my poor, delicate teenage brain could not have handled that. In my late teen years and early 20s, my life had been turned upside down by a series of traumatic events and that’s when I really got into it.  Nihilistic swagger and self-imposed alienation?  No rules? Yes, sounds good to me.  You have how many tattoos?  Yes, I think I might be interested in making out later.  That period can only be described as a shit-show.  It’s funny how coming across something as simple as a documentary can cause a person to look back so far and so in-depth.  Although maybe it’s just me.  I’ve always been that way.

I’ve been listening to The Buzzcocks at work all afternoon.  I have been going back and forth between laughing at it(and myself,) trying not to sing(scream) along like I’m that girl again and wishing I could leave and get in my car and listen to the Misfits with all the windows down.  I still listen to the Misfits by the way.  A lot.  As does my husband.  But with the windows up.  We could roll them down if we wanted to, but it would probably go over better if we took the car seats out of the back seats of our cars.  It’s funny how sometimes you can feel so old and then other times feel like you are 31 going on 17.

By the way – Everclear?  Blink 182?  So not punkrock.  But I won’t hate on this anymore until I actually see it.  I’ll let you guys know how it is.




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