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Kerouac + Kristen = a bad road trip

28 May

Is anyone else completely turned off by the thought of this movie?  My apologies to any and all Kerouac fans, but fyi, that book is not mind blowing.  I have never understood the obsession over it.  For those of you who haven’t read it and feel like you may have missed out on something because this book has been given so much praise of cultural importance, you haven’t.  It’s all a tedious rambling of self-counsciousness.  I read the book twice.  I thought maybe I was just missing something the first go around and gave it another shot.  But I still thought it sucked.  It’s not even well written.  And so now we’re going to have a movie.  With sour puss I hate everything Kristen Stewart.  This girl really irritates me and the combination of her and this movie is too much.  Not to mention it co-stars old snaggle tooth Kirsten Dunst.  “I’m a vampire too!  Kirsten and Kristen like totally almost rhyme! Besties!”  Hopefully Kirsten won’t drag Kristen down to rehab with her.  That means she might actually have to look like she’s having fun before she gets there.

I have to remind myself that Kristen is still a kid and I think I was probably a total brat at 19 too.  But every time someone takes her picture she acts like she’s five seconds from being gang raped.  And I’m not just saying that.

She explains the process of leaving somewhere and being bombarded by paparazzi to being this. “What you don’t see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. All you see is an actor or a celebrity lit up but a flash. It’s so… The photos are so… I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. It’s f**ked. I never expected that this would be my life.”

Another favorite:  I’ve never really gone out with someone who I’ve found attractive… initially. Oh, no?  Didn’t find Eddie attractive at first?  This chick is bonkers.  Hopefully she’ll lighten up with age.  Maybe she’ll smile once in awhile.  But my fear is she starts quoting Kerouac all the time.   “Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.” Can’t you hear it?

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One Response to “Kerouac + Kristen = a bad road trip”

  1. Rhi June 1, 2010 at 12:51 am #

    Awww, poor KStew, she’s just “shy!” She’s not a miserable brooding teenager like the rest of the world thinks! Shy kids love to do things like go to auditions and be in movies!

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