A stalking clown? Color me terrified.

18 May

There came a point in my life when I realized that my parents wanted boys.  It was probably when my mom said “well we wanted boys.”   I was playing poker by five years old and darts shortly thereafter.  My dad wanted someone to play with.  My dad also has a thing for scary movies, sharks, snakes and nature shows.  Pretty standard guy things.  But not little girl things.  When I was five he decided we would bond watching Poltergeist together.  I think he thought that exposing me to scary things early would be helpful.  I really have no idea. There’s that scene when the little boy is trying to fall asleep and across from his bed is his creepy clown doll sitting in a chair staring at him.  First of all, no parent in their right mind would buy a kid a toy that creepy looking.  So the kid rolls over for a moment and then a minute later feels the urge to roll back and look at the clown again.  Surprise!  The clown is gone! The creepy ass clown can move! So he looks around and doesn’t see it anywhere and for some reason he decides he better look under his bed.  Makes sense, right?  Another surprise!!  The creepy clown is there and is now trying to murder you.  Long story short, my life long fear of clowns had begun.

Today I heard about Dominic Deville.  I find him both hilarious and terrifying.  For $666 (cheesy, I know) he will stalk your victim of choice, sending chilling texts, making prank phone calls and setting traps in letterboxes for an entire week.  He leaves notes warning the victim that they are being watched, telling them they will be attacked.  He gets increasing noticeable throughout the week making them feel more and more like they are being pursued.  The clown’s goal if you will, is to smash a cake into the face of his victim, when they least expect it, sometime during the course of seven days.  If the victim avoids the ‘hit’, they are given the cake as a birthday present.  A cake.  After a week of terror!

Apparently this is considered a birthday treat and he is regularly hired by parents, because, as said by Stephen Vaughan of Clowns International, “Bringing a little bit of life and laughter into kids’ lives is what we are all about.”

How is this funny?  If my parents did this to me I would never forgive them.  Even now.  If I looked outside and saw this guy I would scream bloody effing murder and call the police.  Terrifying.  I mean, just look at him.

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3 Responses to “A stalking clown? Color me terrified.”

  1. dianawynn May 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

    Steven Kings “IT” ruined my life. I live in fear.

  2. Rick Phillips May 18, 2010 at 2:35 pm #

    Well said Great information, keep up the great work!

  3. Meg Allan Cole June 14, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

    That is the sickest thing I’ve seen since Heidi’s new face.

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