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Get out of my way dork.

30 Apr

It has just come to my attention that the office is going on a segway tour.  A SEGWAY TOUR.  I hate segways.  Not only do I find people on them incredibly lazy, but beyond the highest level of dorkdom.  I don’t think that sentence even makes sense.  But I’m frazzled by the thought of this.

The first time I saw one of those things I was appalled at the complete stupidity of the contraption. There wasn’t one second where I thought, “wow, that’s cool.”  It was more like “get off the fucking sidewalk.”  How lazy do you have to be to ride on one of them?  You’re just standing there!  Disabled people should protest this mockery.  Seriously, you have working limbs, you are clearly standing on the thing, so use them.  And furthermore, if you are a tourist, aren’t you aware that you are already ridiculed by the people who live there?  It doesn’t matter where you are.  That’s just the way it is.  Its baffling to me that people think this is a good way to see the city.  Maybe I would hate less if they didn’t take up the entire sidewalk.  There’s nothing worse than being in a rush to a meeting, or even on the way to lunch and having to move out of the way for a lame-ass segway tour.  Nice fanny pack.  It matches your helmet.

This goes against everything I stand for.  I might as well wear crocs.

LOOK AT THESE FUCKING GEEKS.

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